- HEY, MAN. - HEY, WHAT'S--
- I'M EXCITED TO HAVE YOU ON THE SHOW.
- NO, I KNOW-- - IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
- YEAH-- - I CAN'T WAIT TO INTERRUPT YOU.
- NO, I KNOW-- - AWESOME.
IT'S THIS WAY OVER HERE. - I'M SORRY.
- HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO THE BENSON INTERRUPTION.
I'M DOUG BENSON. I INTERRUPT PEOPLE FOR MONEY.
IT'S A TOTAL SCAM.
CHECK IT OUT.
ON THIS SHOW, WHAT HAPPENS IS I'LL BRING OUT
A COMEDIAN FRIEND OF MINE TO THE STAGE
WHO WILL STAND RIGHT HERE.
AND THEY WILL SAY, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE
"I WANT TO SEE THAT NEW MATT DAMON MOVIE HEREAFTER,
"BUT I'M AFRAID I WON'T GET IT
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THE FIRST ONE HENCEFORTH."
AND THEN...
I'LL BE SITTING IN THAT CHAIR RIGHT OVER THERE
WITH A MICROPHONE AND I'LL SAY SOMETHING LIKE
"THOSE ARE THE DUMBEST WORDS EVER TALKED."
OKAY, ARE YOU READY TO START THE INTERRUPTION?
LET'S DO IT.
YOU MAY RECOGNIZE THIS FUNNY FELLOW
FROM HIS APPEARANCES ON RENO 9/11 AND...
I MEAN, 911!
AND HE HAS HIS OWN SHOW RIGHT HERE ON COMEDY CENTRAL
CALLED PRETEND TIME.
PLEASE WELCOME MY FRIEND NICK SWARDSON!
- THANK YOU, DOUGLAS. THANK YOU.
HI, EVERYONE. EVERYONE LOOKS GREAT.
I MEAN THAT.
- IT IS AN ATTRACTIVE CROWD. - YEAH.
- I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MOST OF THEM.
BUT ONLY A LUCKY FEW WILL BE CHOSEN.
I V--I VOTE FOR POWER ORGY TONIGHT.
LET'S JUST DO A POWER-- POWER ORGY!
- WHAT DOES POWER ORGY MEAN? THAT IT HAPPENS QUICKLY?
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. IT'S A POWER ORGY.
- IT JUST HAPPENS AGGRESSIVELY.
IT'S JUST LIKE GO, GO, GO! GO, GO, GO, DONE!
IT'S LIKE A LITTLE STOPWATCH. ONE MINUTE!
AND JUST--EVERYONE'S, LIKE-- IT'S JUST SUPER AGGRESSIVE.
- 48-SECOND POWER ORGY. BEAT THAT.
- BEAT THAT, JAPAN,
OR, LIKE, SOME OTHER TEAM THAT'S COMPETING.
BEAT THAT, INDIA!
POWER ORGY!
- FIVE-SECOND POWER ORGY.
IT'S LIKE A WHOLE NEW WAVE. - FIVE SECONDS.
- IT'S THE OPPOSITE--
IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF TANTRIC SEX.
IT'S JUST, LIKE, I GET IT OVER FAST!
- I INTO MY FAX MACHINE!
SEND IT! SEND IT! EAT IT! DONE!
THAT'S SUCH AN AGGRESSIVE WAY TO START THE SHOW.
THIS IS ONE THING I WANTED TO TELL YOU.
- OKAY, YEAH, TELL ME.
- THIS IS A SPECIAL THING FOR DOUG,
'CAUSE THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
- EVERYONE ELSE JUST HANG OUT FOR A SECOND.
THIS IS JUST FOR ME. - JUST RELAX.
NO, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
AND I-- IT MADE ME SO HAPPY.
I HAD BREAKFAST AT A DINER THIS MORNING.
AND MY WAITER AT THE DINER, I WAS, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, MAKING CONVERSATION.
I'M, LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE FOR HALLOWEEN?"
AND THIS IS 100% TRUE STORY. WEST HOLLYWOOD.
THE WAITER GOES, "UM, WELL, IT'S DOWN TO TWO THINGS.
"I'M EITHER GONNA BE A SQUIRREL..."
IT'S ALREADY GOOD. - STOP.
YOU, YOU HAVE YOUR COSTUME.
I DON'T CARE--I DON'T CARE WHO THE NEXT ONE IS.
NO ONE'S GOING AS A SQUIRREL.
YOU WILL REALLY-- YOU WILL REALLY STAND OUT.
- YOU CAN'T EVEN FATHOM THE REST OF IT.
HE GOES "I'M EITHER GONNA BE A SQUIRREL
OR A NAUGHTY AIDS NURSE."
WHAT? HOW IS THAT A COSTUME?
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
A "NAUGHTY AIDS NURSE."
IT'S, LIKE, FIRST OF ALL, WHAT'S THE NAUGHTY PART OF THAT?
LIKE, "AIDS." LIKE, WHAT THE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - IT'S A SMALL OUTFIT.
IT'S A SEXY TIGHT OUTFIT. THAT'S THE SEXY PART.
BUT THEN AIDS NURSE, THERE'S NO SEXY PART.
- THERE'S NOTHING SEXY ABOUT THAT.
- I'VE NEVER SEEN-- I'VE NEVER SEEN A SEXY NURSE
WITH A SPECIFIC...
- LIKE GENRE OF DISEASE. - LIKE A SPECIFIC THING.
YEAH. LIKE, "I'M A SEXY CARDIOLOGIST."
"I'M A SULTRY TUMOR NURSE."
IT'S, LIKE, "WHAT THE F-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
- "SULTRY TUMOR NURSE."
IT'S NOT A TUMOR.
BUT ALSO, WHEN YOU HAVE A CHOICE
BETWEEN A SQUIRREL OR...
- IT'S SO DIFFERENT! - OR A SEXY--
- A SQUIRREL OR A NAUGHTY AIDS--
LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- NAUGHTY AIDS NURSE OR SQUIRREL,
HONESTLY, WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK IS GONNA GET MORE NUTS?
AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE. - BOOM.
- AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.
- IT HAS BEEN DECREED.
- SOMEBODY ASKED ME IF I DID THE AIDS WALK
AND I SAID "EVERY TIME I WALK IS AN AIDS WALK."
- YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE STRETCHING
FOR AN AIDS WALK RIGHT NOW.
PEOPLE ASK ME TO DO CHARITY ALL THE TIME,
WHICH I THINK IS COOL, BUT I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE
TO DO IT-- IT'S JUST, LIKE--
IT'S ALWAYS, LIKE, MARATHONS OR RUNS OR WALKS.
LIKE, WHY CAN'T IT BE MORE RELAXED?
LIKE, WHY CAN'T CHARITY BE, LIKE, AN AIDS NAP?
OR, LIKE...
WHY CAN'T WE LOUNGE FOR HAITI?
LET'S JUST LOUNGE AROUND.
WHY DO I HAVE TO RUN AROUND LIKE AN ASS?
- YEAH, HOW 'BOUT, LIKE-- - JUST EVERYONE JUST RELAX.
- HOW ABOUT A WATCH A MOVIE YOU WERE GONNA WATCH ANYWAY
FOR CANCER?
- YES! EXACTLY!
- THAT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD.
- HBO FOR CANCER.
- CALM DOWN.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE NICK SWARDSON
AFTER THESE COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTIONS!
- WELCOME BACK TO THE BENSON INTERRUPTION...
WHERE I'M GONNA KEEP INTERRUPTING NICK SWARDSON.
YEAH, INTERRUPTION IN PROGRESS.
- THIS IS MY NEW FASCINATION
ARE ALIEN-THEMED RESTAURANTS.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
I'M FROM THE MIDWEST, AND THEY HAVE A THING CALLED
ALIEN-- SPACE ALIENS.
AND IT'S A CHAIN RESTAURANT.
- CALLED "SPACE ALIENS"? - YEAH.
BUT THEN THERE'S ALSO-- - ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T--
- I SWEAR TO GOD, DAWG!
AND THERE'S ONE IN NEW YORK.
AND IT'S ALL, LIKE, SPACE ALIENS...
BUT LIKE, THEIR WHOLE MENU IS, LIKE, "ORBIT SOUP."
LIKE, IT'S NOT EVEN--
I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS RESTAURANT IS FOR,
AND WHO EATS-- IT'S LIKE--
- I'LL HAVE THE LUNAR SALAD, PLEASE.
- IT'S SO STUPID FAKE SPACE.
JUST LIKE, CAN I HAVE THE SOLAR FINGERS?
IT'S LIKE, NO, THEY'RE CHICKEN FINGERS.
LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHO'S THAT RESTAURANT--
WHO WANTS TO EAT IN SPACE THAT BAD?
THEY'RE JUST SORT OF LIVING THIS DELUSIONAL, LIKE...
"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO MARS,
BUT I CAN'T DO IT HERE.
I CAN HAVE SPACE SOUP, FOLLOWED BY SATURN SANDWICH."
OR I DON'T KNOW.
- DO YOU HAVE SATURN RINGS? "NO, BUT WE HAVE ONION RINGS."
LIKE THE ONE OPPORTUNITY THAT DOES MAKE SENSE...
THEY TOTALLY BLOW IT.
THEY JUST NAME THOSE ONION RINGS.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS, LIKE, OUTER SPACE STEAK.
- MASHED PLUTODOS.
REALLY?
IT'S SO SWEATY AND AWFUL.
YOU GUYS LIKE SLEEPING?
I ALWAYS GET, LIKE, IN TROUBLE.
DO YOU GUYS GET YELLED AT FOR SLEEPING?
MY MOM'S ALWAYS, LIKE, "DON'T SLEEP IN.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
I GOT UP EARLY, AND I WENT TO THE STORE."
IT'S LIKE, "REALLY? WHILE YOU WERE AT THE STORE,
"I WAS DREAMING, OKAY?
"SO I WAS DOING WHATEVER I WANTED.
"I WAS MY OWN AT THE SUPER BOWL.
"DID YOU DO THAT AT THE STORE?
"I DON'T THINK YOU DID.
WELCOME TO MY DREAM!"
- WHAT WOULD BE ANOTHER GREAT THING TO DO AT THE SUPER BOWL?
'CAUSE LET'S SAY WE CAN'T USE " MY OWN ."
IS THERE A CLEANER THING THAT PEOPLE WOULD APPRECIATE
BEING ABLE TO DO AT THE SUPER BOWL?
- I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL HIGH-FIVING MY OWN.
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NICK SWARDSON!
- THANK YOU.
- NICK SWARDSON!
THIS PERFORMER STARS IN THE LEAGUE ON FX,
AND HE HAS A COMEDY CENTRAL SPECIAL COMING SOON.
I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU WHAT IT'S CALLED.
YOU FIGURE IT OUT.
PLEASE WELCOME MY FRIEND, NICK KROLL!
- HOORAY!
HELLO. HI. NICE TO SEE YOU ALL.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
SO I AM, VERY EXCITED TO BE HERE.
UM, DOING STAND-UP ON TV IS SOMETHING
THAT WE ALL DREAM OF EVENTUALLY DOING.
AND I THINK ABOUT THE FIRST TIME THAT I DID STAND-UP,
UM, AND IT WAS WHEN I WAS A FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE.
- IN MY CASE, I DREAM OF JUST WATCHING SOMEONE ELSE
DO STAND-UP ON TELEVISION.
- IT'S HAPPENED, BRO.
- I'VE FINALLY MADE MY DREAM OF JUST WATCHING
SOMEONE ELSE DO THE COMEDY.
- SO NOW, THE OTHER PIECE--
AND THIS WAS MY BIG SET PIECE WAS
I WAS GONNA GET ONSTAGE
AND BE, LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT,
"I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE SO NERVOUS,
BUT I'M ACTUALLY QUITE RELAXED."
AND THEN I WAS GONNA PISS MY PANTS.
BUT I WASN'T GONNA ACTUALLY PISS MY PANTS.
I WAS GONNA HAVE A WATER BALLOON
AND FILL IT WITH WATER.
- IF YOU'RE A PRO, YOU'D FILL IT WITH PISS.
- WASN'T TOTALLY COMMITTED TO THE CRAFT AT THAT POINT.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, TONIGHT I'VE GOT
A BAGFUL OF PISS IN MY POCKET.
SO I--I'M--
BUT I GET FREAKED OUT, AND I SHOW UP
WITHOUT MY WATER BALLOON, WITHOUT MY PEN.
SO I AM BACKSTAGE RUMMAGING THROUGH THE GARBAGE,
LOOKING FOR ANYTHING.
SO I FIND A SANDWICH BAG WITH A SANDWICH IN IT,
THROW THE SANDWICH OUT, FILL THE BAG WITH WATER.
BUT THERE'S STILL, LIKE, FLECKS OF WHEAT BREAD
FLOATING AROUND IN IT.
I GRAB A PEN, I GET ONSTAGE, AND I GO,
"YOU KNOW WHAT, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE SO NERVOUS.
BUT I'M ACTUALLY QUITE RELAXED."
IT JUST LOOKED LIKE I WAS FURIOUSLY MASTURBATING
WHICH IS BASICALLY WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING ONSTAGE EVER SINCE.
THERE YOU GO.
SO--SO WHEN I WAS 18 YEARS OLD,
I LIVED IN SPAIN FOR A YEAR.
OR AS THE SPANISH WOULD SAY,
I LIVE IN-A SPAIN FOR ONE YEAR.
- I WISH THERE WAS A TRANSLATOR FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID.
- I WISH THERE WAS A TRANSLATOR
FOR EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAY.
- SAY, "FURIOUSLY MASTURBATING."
- BURIOUSLY MASTURBATING.
- MY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE NICK KROLL
AFTER THESE COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTIONS.
- WELCOME BACK TO THE BENSON INTERRUPTION.
WE'RE HERE WITH NICK KROLL.
- HEY, DOUG.
- WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HAVE A TWEET-OFF?
- THAT SEEMS LIKE A SPONTANEOUSLY GREAT THING TO DO.
- LET'S GO BACK AND FORTH READING SOME TWEETS.
- CAN I TELL YOU WHAT THE PASSWORD TO MY IPHONE IS?
- HAVE YOU EVER PUT A PASSWORD ON A THING,
AND IT GOES, "THAT PASSWORD IS WEAK"?
- LIKE, IT FEELS
LIKE YOU'RE TALKING TO SOME STONER,
DRUGGED-OUT DUDE GOING, "PASSWORD'S WEAK."
- THAT PASSWORD IS WEAK. - THAT PASSWORD IS SO WEAK.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
UM, "THEY SHOULD PUT RANDY QUAID'S FACE ON EVERY PRODUCT
THAT HAS NUTS IN IT."
#BECAUSEHEIS
- #ALLEGEDLY
- PROTECT YOURSELF.
- I'M COVERING MY ASS EVEN ON TWITTER.
YEAH.
- GET MY TWITTER LAWYER ON HERE.
- HE MIGHT NOT REALLY BE CRAZY.
- I READ THAT TWEET THAT YOU WROTE TODAY.
YOU WROTE THAT TWEET TODAY OR YESTERDAY.
- YEAH, THIS IS FRESH.
- YEAH. OKAY, READY?
"JUST OVERHEARD ON THE TRAIN--
"'I LOVE THAT KID.
"BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH TOENAIL.'
SO, FYI, TOENAIL EQUALS BAD ROOMMATE."
- THE NICKNAME TOENAIL
PROBABLY IS ENOUGH OF AN INDICATOR.
- EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH TOENAIL,
I WEAR FLIP-FLOPS IN THE SHOWER.
- TOENAIL.
- TOENAIL, YOU ARE INCORRIGIBLE.
- "I BOUGHT A NEW TOOTHBRUSH TODAY.
"MY OLD ONE WILL BE AVAILABLE SOON
AT A GOODWILL OUTLET NEAR ME."
PEOPLE WROTE BACK TO ME,
"EW, WHY WOULD THEY BUY A USED TOOTHBRUSH?"
THANKS FOR GETTING JOKES.
- EXCEPT FOR LIKE @TOENAIL, BEING LIKE,
"WHICH GOODWILL, BRO?"
'MEMBER? 'CAUSE OF HIS HYGIENE PROBLEMS?
- GO AHEAD. - OKAY.
"IN MY NEXT LIFE, I'M COMING BACK AS AS VUVUZELA
SO I CAN BE REALLY ANNOYING AND STILL GET BLOWN A LOT."
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NICK KROLL!
- BYE, DOUG.
- THIS ACTOR-COMEDIAN HAS BEEN A GUEST ON MY PODCAST,
DOUG LOVES MOVIES,
AND HE HAS HIS OWN PODCAST
CALLED THE NERDIST.
PLEASE WELCOME MY NERDIST FRIEND,
CHRIS HARDWICK!
- HELLO.
HELLO, PEOPLE.
HELLO.
THANK YOU.
YOU GUYS, I AM FROM TENNESSEE.
OR 'MERICA! AS I LIKE TO CALL IT.
- AMERICA!
- I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY, AMERICA, CHRIS HARDWICK?
NO, 'MERICA!
APOSTROPHE-MERICA!
- THEN WHY DON'T THEY SAY--
- JESUS CHRIST, DOUG, I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.
- SORRY, CHRIS.
- THAT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU GAVE ME A STARTLE.
- WHY DON'T THEY CALL IT 'ENNESSEE THEN
IF THEY SAY 'MERICA?
- 'CAUSE THEN IT COMPLICATES IT.
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE TOO MULTILAYERED.
YOU START CONFUSING REDNECKS,
THEY GET ANGRY, PUNCH THE AIR, TAKE IT OUT ON MINORITIES.
IT'S A VERY DANGEROUS THING FOR THEM TO DO, DOUG.
I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE FUN OF 'MERICA TOO MUCH,
BUT WHERE ELSE BUT IN 'MERICA
WOULD YOU GET THE DUGGAR FAMILY OF ARKANSAS
AND THEIR 19 KIDS?
LET ME ASK YOU A PHYSIOLOGICAL QUESTION.
- ME OR THE AUDIENCE?
- LADIES. - OR JUST THE LADIES.
- OF WHICH YOU MAY BE A PART.
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR MAN LUGGAGE.
- 'CAUSE MY BAGS ARE ALWAYS PACKED.
- YOUR BAGS ARE ALWAYS PACKED.
READY TO GO.
- WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
THAT FAMILY WITH 19 KIDS. - 19 KIDS!
- 19.
- ARE YOU EVEN AWARE
WHEN YOU'RE HAVING YOUR 19TH CHILD?
DO YOU KNOW IT'S HAPPENING?
OR DOES YOUR BODY JUST TURN INTO SOME KIND OF
DQ VANILLA SOFT SERVE MACHINE THAT JUST...
SPITS OUT ORGANISMS?
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
"I'M GOING TO THE KITCHEN. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
FWOOP. "THERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
CATCH HIM."
- HE'S A QUICK ONE.
- HE'S A QUICK ONE RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.
- GOOD THING HE'S ON A LEASH THAT'S CONNECTED TO ME.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH CHRIS HARDWICK AFTER THESE COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTIONS.
- WELCOME BACK TO THE BENSON INTERRUPTION.
WHO AM I INTERRUPTING NOW?
CHRIS HARDWICK, OF COURSE.
YOU REMEMBER, DON'T YOU?
- DOUG, I'M SURE YOU DO THIS TOO,
BECAUSE YOU ARE A TRAVELING, BUSY COMEDIAN,
AS WELL.
I STAY IN A LOT OF HOTELS ON THE ROAD.
WHICH I DO NOT ENJOY.
BECAUSE A HOTEL IS, IS JUST A PLACE
WHERE PEOPLE RENT THE RIGHT
TO PUT THEIR BALLS ON EVERYTHING.
LIKE, THEY DON'T--
THEY USE IT AS A TOOL.
LIKE, BETTER TURN THE LIGHTS ON.
LIKE, THEY'LL JUST USE IT BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR BALLS ON THINGS AT HOME.
YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WOULD BE LIKE,
"WHY ARE THERE BALL PRINTS ON THE LAMP?
THIS IS NOT A HOTEL."
AND...
SO IT'S--THEY'RE--
- I USE MY BALLS TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL ON THE TV.
- YOU TWIST?
- NOT THE REMOTE.
I GO ALL THE WAY UP TO THE TV.
- WHY DID I-- - I'M NOT LAZY.
- I, I USED TO DRINK A LOT,
AS YOU MAY REMEMBER, AND I, I NO LONGER DRINK.
I GAVE UP DRINKING MANY YEARS AGO.
I CANNOT EVER GO TO VEGAS AGAIN.
I CAN'T GO TO VEGAS EVER
BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE SOBER, IT SUCKS.
VEGAS IS A LOT LIKE A STRIPPER POLE.
IT IS VERY SHINY WHEN VIEWED FROM A DISTANCE,
BUT WHEN YOU GET UP CLOSE TO IT,
IT JUST SMELLS LIKE POOP AND SADNESS.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH VEGAS IN A NUTSHELL.
DO YOU LIKE STRIP CLUBS?
DO YOU ENJOY GOING TO STRIP-- STRIPPING CLUBS?
- WELL, I DO NOW THAT I KNOW
THAT YOU CAN SMELL THE POLE.
- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION.
- I--YEAH.
- I'VE BEEN SITTING BACK IN MY SEAT LIKE A GENTLEMAN
WONDERING WHAT THAT POLE SMELLED LIKE.
- LISTEN--EXACTLY.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? - YES.
- DO YOU THINK PATRICK SWAYZE
NOW GOES UP BEHIND PEOPLE IN POTTERY CLASSES
AND HUGS THEM JUST TO CRACK UP OTHER GHOSTS?
- LET'S HAVE A TWEET-OFF. - WANNA HAVE A TWEET-OFF?
LET'S HAVE A TWEET-OFF.
- ALL RIGHT. SO HERE--
OKAY, HERE'S ONE.
"DIARRHEA IS THE JAZZ OF POOP."
- "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR
BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY BEING AWESOME."
- WELL PLAYED. - THAT'S MORE TRUE THAN FUNNY.
"EVERYTHING AT WHOLE FOODS SOUNDS LIKE A BAND.
"NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH CUSTOM BUTTERS
OPEN FOR ORNAMENTAL CORN."
- WAIT A SECOND.
I WAS AT THAT SHOW.
DIDN'T THAT-- WASN'T THAT SHOW
OPENED BY HOMEMADE SOAP?
- YEP. Y--
- "I THINK OF DESTINY'S CHILD
WHENEVER I PAY MY AUTOMO-BILLS."
- SORRY, BUT WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
CHRIS HARDWICK!
WORKING HARD... WICK.
- GOOD-BYE, DOUG.
- THANK YOU, CHRIS.
DRINK EIGHT GLASSES OF WATER A DAY.
GOOD NIGHT!